that awkward moment...
I just want to make it super clear how many awkward moments will happen to you as an exchange student. If you are an exchange student and reading this, then you will totally get what I mean 110%! And if you are anyone else then I'm pretty sure you will also understand what I mean, and if not please try really hard to. So literally on a daily bases I get embarrassed, blushing has actually become second nature to me.. whether it's something little like everyone is staring and I don't know why, or when I didn't hear what someone said so I have to ask them to repeat but they are too embarrassed to say it in Italian again because they just think I don't understand Italian so they try in English and the whole conversation totally falls apart because none of it makes sense, or when I'm yet again taken aback by a blunt comment because I'm not used to the open honesty of Italians..I could go on with these little things.
But there are also the bigger awkward moments, the ones that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Like when I realize how my beliefs differ a great deal from everyones around me. For an example, today one of the teachers in my school gave me a global version of the New York Times that was in English. Now I love this teacher, she helps me with Italian a few times a week and she doesn't speak English but she is very patient when I ask her over and over again why something is the way it is. Anyways in this paper was an article on the new pope here in Italy as well as some popes and their thoughts on gay marriage. Here are some examples:
"On government support for a gay marriage bill: “Let’s not be naive: this isn’t a simple political fight, it’s an attempt to destroy God’s plan.” -Francis
"Above all, we must have great respect for these people who also suffer and who want to find their own way of correct living. On the other hand, to create a legal form of a kind of homosexual marriage, in reality, does not help these people." -Benedict XVI
"It is legitimate and necessary to ask oneself if this [gay marriage] is not perhaps part of a new ideology of evil, perhaps more insidious and hidden, which attempts to pit human rights against the family and against man." - John Paul II
My teacher asked me what I thought about that and I was slightly taken aback because in school in the US we don't really discuss personal opinions on these types of topics. I know that here the majority of the people believe that what the pope believes is the right thing. It was also really difficult for me to explain what I thought and why in Italian..but I did it! I really do not agree with what these men are saying, the only reason people who are homosexual might be "suffering" is because they don't have the rights they deserve...but I'm not writing this to try and convince people that what I believe is correct and the only way I'm just saying in Italy, there are not as many different beliefs as there are in the US. And it's not that they are closed minded it's just that here so many people share one way of thinking. So today when I stated my opinion and explained why I felt this way, my teacher was surprised and for a second I almost felt embarrassed until I realized I have nothing to be embarrassed for, I'm not going to change my beliefs to agree with what is "normal" here.
For another example, in geography class we were discussing the diversity of religion in the United States and my teacher asked what my families religion was, I answered honestly and everybody was a bit surprised. My teacher also asked about my political views, which we never discuss personally in school so that was also a little shocking! I don't mind, but it is a little intimidating when your answering something so honest in front of people who may believe the complete opposite. So my point is that when you live in a different culture, there are layers to the differences. There are the things you see right away being the way people dress, the buildings, food, ect. Then there's the characteristics that people have that are different than the way people act at home. But after you stay somewhere for awhile, you start to notice the things like the patterns in what people believe and what they think is right. It's tempting to change to be like everyone else, maybe you buy the same types of clothes and start to do your hair differently to fit the culture your in. But one of the most important things is to ignore the embarrassing feeling you start to feel when you answer questions like these so honestly, because what you believe is who you are and learning to stand by that no matter what is really, really important. It's equally important to listen and respect what others think, if we all tried our best to understand each other I truly believe there would be less problems in the world. I really think the first step IS as simple as that!
But there are also the bigger awkward moments, the ones that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Like when I realize how my beliefs differ a great deal from everyones around me. For an example, today one of the teachers in my school gave me a global version of the New York Times that was in English. Now I love this teacher, she helps me with Italian a few times a week and she doesn't speak English but she is very patient when I ask her over and over again why something is the way it is. Anyways in this paper was an article on the new pope here in Italy as well as some popes and their thoughts on gay marriage. Here are some examples:
"On government support for a gay marriage bill: “Let’s not be naive: this isn’t a simple political fight, it’s an attempt to destroy God’s plan.” -Francis
"Above all, we must have great respect for these people who also suffer and who want to find their own way of correct living. On the other hand, to create a legal form of a kind of homosexual marriage, in reality, does not help these people." -Benedict XVI
"It is legitimate and necessary to ask oneself if this [gay marriage] is not perhaps part of a new ideology of evil, perhaps more insidious and hidden, which attempts to pit human rights against the family and against man." - John Paul II
My teacher asked me what I thought about that and I was slightly taken aback because in school in the US we don't really discuss personal opinions on these types of topics. I know that here the majority of the people believe that what the pope believes is the right thing. It was also really difficult for me to explain what I thought and why in Italian..but I did it! I really do not agree with what these men are saying, the only reason people who are homosexual might be "suffering" is because they don't have the rights they deserve...but I'm not writing this to try and convince people that what I believe is correct and the only way I'm just saying in Italy, there are not as many different beliefs as there are in the US. And it's not that they are closed minded it's just that here so many people share one way of thinking. So today when I stated my opinion and explained why I felt this way, my teacher was surprised and for a second I almost felt embarrassed until I realized I have nothing to be embarrassed for, I'm not going to change my beliefs to agree with what is "normal" here.
For another example, in geography class we were discussing the diversity of religion in the United States and my teacher asked what my families religion was, I answered honestly and everybody was a bit surprised. My teacher also asked about my political views, which we never discuss personally in school so that was also a little shocking! I don't mind, but it is a little intimidating when your answering something so honest in front of people who may believe the complete opposite. So my point is that when you live in a different culture, there are layers to the differences. There are the things you see right away being the way people dress, the buildings, food, ect. Then there's the characteristics that people have that are different than the way people act at home. But after you stay somewhere for awhile, you start to notice the things like the patterns in what people believe and what they think is right. It's tempting to change to be like everyone else, maybe you buy the same types of clothes and start to do your hair differently to fit the culture your in. But one of the most important things is to ignore the embarrassing feeling you start to feel when you answer questions like these so honestly, because what you believe is who you are and learning to stand by that no matter what is really, really important. It's equally important to listen and respect what others think, if we all tried our best to understand each other I truly believe there would be less problems in the world. I really think the first step IS as simple as that!
What difficult situations in the classroom you've endured. I know I could never have been so up and up at your age. You're learning so much. Good going.
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